It was pretty neat in the secret room though!  It was like this awesome dance party!  Everyone had whips and hats and spoke kinda funny!  I told them I wanted to be the best trainer in the world and they all thot it was the “most darling thing”.  I told them I wanted to be big and bad!  And they said I will be one day, “shnookie pie”.

I stuck my tongue out them!

The strangers were nice and asked if I  wanted to dance and I said okay, so we did the mashed potato and the twist and all sorts of other fun dances!  Then this stupid poo face came and ruined all the fun. His name was Giovaney, and he said, “WHAT THE F******** is THIS NINE YEAR OLD DOING HERE”

I told him I was TEN, DUH and he looked at me all poutey.  “WELL THIS IS A PICKLE” he said.

“You bet!” I told him.

Geovaney frowned at me, and said he would be right back AND NO MORE DANCING.  When he came back he had a tube in his hands!

“That’s just a paper tube, stupid,” I said.
“No, its a SILPHSCOPE” Giovanney said.  “It lets you see GHOSTS“

I was like “WHOAHHHHH GIVE IT TO ME NOWWWW!”

SO HE DID

He told me there are ghosts back in poopey doopey LAVENDER TOWN.  IM GONNA GO!

“What’s that?” I asked.  I Just had to KNOW

“It’s a secret.” The man said and frowned.  “Wait, you’re not Gary Oak, right?”

“NO!” I said.

“Nevermind,” the man said.  “Just don’t touch the poster on the wall.”

And he left.

Well DUH I was gonna touch the poster on the wall!  AND IT TURNS OUT IT OPENED UP A SECRET DOOR.

DO YOU GUYS WANT TO SEE WHAT’S INSIDE?  BECAUSE I DO  Maybe its a surprise birthday party for me

because that’s probably why mom forgot my birthday

I’m gonna play allllll day

I was hungry, and I found a restarant!  NEAT!  It’s like the only one I’ve ever seen!  I ate some pokesoup !!!!!!!

This guy was standing there, and he came over and sat down next to me.

“I m an adventurer!” I said.

“Sweet,” He said.  “I have a gambling problem.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Well,” he said, “You put money into this really fun, flashy machine and more coins come out.”

“COOL!”

“And it ruins your life.”

“BUT IT FLASHES??”

“Yeah.”

“COOL!”

The man looked me up and down.  “Here,” he said.  AND HE GAVE ME ALL OF HIS GAMBLING COINS!

GUESS WHERE IM A GOINGGGGGGGGGGG

I’m in this really creepy town now.  There’s a lot of people just kind of loafing around talking about their dead friends.  They’re mostly old.  Reminds me of church!

I got bored listening to everybody being dumb so I just left.  I HOPE GARY ENDS UP THERE SOON

YOU LET FAT OLD MEN TRAIN YOUR POKEMON FOR YOU

PENISFACE

The old man captain said he was “coming down from mushrooms hard”.  I asked him what that meant.  He said “mind your own f************** business or else I’ll grab your pokeballs like that other little sh*t”.
HAHA the Captain stole Gary’s pokeballs!  That’s too funny!

I told him I don’t want him to touch them, because I want to be the only trainer.  The captain said he couldn’t whack off a Dratini anyway.  I told him he should probably train harder then.  I told him I should know because I have two badges

He laughed at my Magikarp!  I told him to SHOVE IT and he said “I BET YOU LIKED IT WHEN THE OLD MEN TRIED TO PUT MONEY IN YOUR PANTS”

and I Said “NO I BET YOU DID STUPID!”

and then he kicked me in my pants and it really hurt : (:(

I’m the best adventerurer ever, NOT YOU.  NOT YOU EVER, GARY.

There’s a lot of old men and sailors in here!  They’re always excited when I turn the corner or walk into their room…but then I tell them I’m an Adventurer, and not “the talent”, they get all disappointed or angry.  One guy said I’m “a blueballing sonofabee”.  He tried to offer me a large piece of gold to…well, I’m not saying for what!

ITS DIRTY.

Anyways, they say the Captain is sick so I’m going to go see if he needs some chicken soup hahaha

PS there were no presents at this party, but all the old men had these weird balloons they were ready to blow up when I came in